Are You Saying The Wrong Thing?
Your answer to this question is probably a resounding NO! Of course not. We all think we are good communicators and say the right things…. so we thought.
When I asked the audience at a workshop I was doing years ago if anyone had problems communicating, no one raised their hands.
Why?
Because we don’t think we have communication problems. We can communicate. In fact, most of us salespeople can be accused of talking too much! And there lies the problem; talking too much and saying the wrong thing. That’s how we lose the sale. Because anyone with excellent sales communication skills will NEVER have any problem making a lot of money selling, that’s the truth.
Sales Communication is your greatest advantage in sales
Let me let you in on a little secret. Well… not really a secret, but this may not be obvious to some. There are prospects all over the place, especially online, looking for you and wanting what you sell.
I am not lying. I see posts constantly from people looking for things they want and need. And I see business owners, freelancers and entrepreneurs falling all over themselves trying to grab it but totally missing it because they are saying the wrong things.
They are not correctly communicating what the prospect WANTS to hear. They say the wrong things–all kinds of things that mean nothing to the potential buyers.
There are two big problems people MAKE ONLINE:
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- Non-human communication. Responds that sound more like robots than humans–speaking like corporate mouthpieces instead of humans. So they mouth off pitches full of jargon to appear intelligent and cool but fail to realize that these corporate talks don’t communicate to most buyers. They may sound cool and impressive, but no one gets it–because it’s either way too long or complicated for a busy, overwhelmed brain looking to get some help. I am sure, if you pay attention, you’ll see them. In fact, I challenge you to look for them in online groups to train yourself to avoid being “that person.”
- Making it hard for others to buy or respond. Respond like: “That’s what I do. I can help you with that. Give me a call to see if there is a fit” — which translates to: “give me a call, and I will assess whether or not, you are qualified to be my client”. Doesn’t that sound uninspiring? Of course, it could also mean: “give me a call to see if I can be a provider for you”. Either way, the response implies that they want the prospective buyer to do the work. Another version of this is when the seller says something like, “Dm me and let me know what you need” or “I’d love to help you, DM me.” Way too lazy! You are asking the person for the work that you should be doing.
Here’s what I would have said:
“Hey, what you need seems to be the exact thing I help many clients with. I’ve looked at your profile (or website ), and I can see a lot of potential (or whatever is appropriate). I’ve messaged you my suggestions and some samples of my work. Please check your messages to see if what I provide is what you’re looking for, and I’ll check back with you later to see what you think”. This message says: I’ve done quick research, so I have some idea of what you may need; I’d like to be considered and here are samples of my work. I’ve quickly built likeability and trust, which are key components in sales communication. Make it easy for potential clients to like you.
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Convince people to buy your stuff
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Convince people to give you money
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Convince people to do something (take action)
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Help people and get help
Do you want proof that good messaging is essential in your sales pitch?
Here’s what one of my students said:
‘My biggest win on the course was how I pitch and the mindset shift which is to HELP the person who needed help, and my sales pitch came out from the heart and when I said it, it was not salesy at all.’
The Soil That Heals
I harvested my garlic today in tears.
Last year, I didn’t do the harvesting. My brother did.
He came for a visit and, needing something to do, spent the afternoon pulling the garlic from the ground, brushing off the dirt, and hanging them to dry. It was just another summer day.
That was July 2025.
He passed away a few months later, in November.
As I harvested this year’s crop, I could see him standing there, doing what he had done the year before. It struck me that this was the last garlic harvest he would ever touch.
Then another memory came flooding in.
When our father died fifty or so years ago, just a year after we had lost our mother, I was eight, and my brother was five. I went out to the garden and cried my eyes out.
He heard me.
He and our youngest brother came out and joined me.
We didn’t talk.
We pulled weeds.
With tears streaming down our faces, we worked the soil as if the work itself would keep us from falling apart.
In a way, it did.
Working the garden was what we had always done with our mother whenever we could help her. Without realizing it, we returned to something familiar.
The garden, the earth, and the little mountain hut we called home held us.
They reminded us that although we had lost our parents, we were still alive. Mother Earth held our grief until, little by little, we were strong enough to carry it ourselves.
And now, all these years later, I found myself back in the garden. Grieving again.
Different loss.
Same earth.
I don’t believe in avoiding pain. I believe in feeling it, letting it have its place, and then moving forward as best we can.
Life comes with twists and knots.
Loss is part of it.
So is love.
The garlic will be eaten over the coming months. The harvest will disappear.
But every July, I’ll remember my brother’s hands, just as I remember three children pulling weeds together, finding comfort in the soil beneath their feet.
People asked me why I spent so much time in the garden, because that’s where I connected. It has been teaching me about life all along.
Earth to earth.
Dust to dust.
In between is the love we shared.
The earth feeds our bodies.
Love feeds our souls.
The Wealthiest Man at 30,000 Feet
So there we were, crammed into the flying tin can known as Air Canada Flight, bound for the sun-soaked beaches of Costa Rica. My husband and I settled into our seats when I noticed the elderly gentleman beside us, cane propped against his leg, giving us a polite nod.
“Travelling alone?” I asked.
“Yes,” he replied, his voice pensive.
My first instinct was to feel sorry for him.
I couldn’t imagine my elders travelling alone.
I whispered to my husband, “Chat with him. He looks lonely.“
Being the good sport that he is, my husband struck up a conversation. Turns out, our seatmate was a 92-year-old widower from a neighbouring town in Ontario. He travelled by bus to the airport that morning. His wife had passed away the previous year from lung cancer despite never having smoked a day in her life. He’d cared for her until her final moments—a real-life Notebook scenario, minus the Hollywood ending.
Now, he rattled around alone in a big house filled with memories, devoid of living souls, except for his cleaning lady, who comes twice a month. I asked about his kids. He shared that they’re successful but childless. His son is too cautious to marry (afraid a woman will take his $ away from him), and his daughter, a nurse so dedicated she probably has a cot in the hospital break room, would never consider taking a vacation.
“Where are you staying?” my husband asked, curiously.
“I’m not sure,” he said, pulling out travel documents from his suit jacket. They revealed a travel company’s itinerary, so at least someone made a plan for him.
“Who’s meeting you there?”
“No one,” he replied, eyes sparkling with the kind of adventure most of us only dream of.
As the conversation flowed, he revealed his lifelong passion: dealing in precious metals and rare coins. I mentioned, “I used to own some rare Philippine coins but lost them.“
“I have 18th-century Philippine coins,” he said, whipping out a handwritten list from his pocket. He quoted prices per ounce with the precision of someone who could calculate the tip on a diner bill in under five seconds. Stunned by his meticulous precision, I softly reminded my husband, “He’s 92 years old.”
“They’re in my bank vault. We can meet when I return if you’re interested.” A true salesman–making a deal at 30,000 feet in the air!
He shared that he had owned a precious metals and coins shop, which he had to close due to multiple robberies. Now, his coins are secured in bank vaults. I smiled and had a funny thought…maybe Oceans Eleven had been eyeing his collection.
Later, he leaned closer to my husband, eyes twinkling with mischief, and opened his hand to reveal blue and yellow pills.
“What are those?” my husband asked.
“Viagra,” he announced with a chuckle.
“Planning to use those?“
He laughed. “At the resort, some gentlemen might need assistance. I come prepared—not for profit; there’s not much money in these, but they start conversations.“
What a guy, I thought. Still hustling at 92, prospecting with blue and yellow pills!
Beat that!
Then, with a touch of sadness, he said, “This might be my last trip. But it’s been a good run.“
As the plane descended over Costa Rica, I smiled to myself.
When we boarded, I felt sorry for him.
By the time we landed, I realized I had met a wealthy man.
Not because of the gold coins in his bank vault.
But because, at ninety-two, after losing the love of his life, he was still saying yes to life.
Still travelling.
Still making deals.
Still making strangers laugh.
That’s wealth!
I Quit! The Golden Shackle
We think we’re building freedom.
But sometimes, we’re just crafting prettier chains.
In the beginning, it feels noble–even exciting.
A few more sales.
A few more calls.
A few more appointments.
You tell yourself, “When I reach this point, I will rest.”
But the “then” never comes. Instead, the hunger grows. Naturally, we want more. And what you thought was ambition slowly becomes compulsion.
Feeling Stuck
Before you know it, you’re going in circles, stuck in a roundabout you can’t exit. Trapped in the system you built. What started as structure now feels like shackles—the golden kind—disguised as progress. Admired by the world — yet an illusion that keeps you bound.
The routines that once gave you structure now feel like the tasks on your list demanding your attention.
Over time, you start to feel like you are in a hamster wheel of your own creation.
The Toll on Mind, Body, and Soul
Your mind grows restless.
Your body aches.
Your soul, once lit with the joy of creating, starts to dim.
Have you ever felt this way?
I have.
Seeing Through the Illusion
As my spiritual journey deepened, I started seeing that so much of what I once chased has become my master, and I am the slave.
The business systems.
The techniques.
The funnels.
The endless “create more content, get more attention” game.
The hamster wheel just kept getting bigger and faster… and everything started to feel hollow.
The Moment I Said “I Quit”
One day, I said it out loud: “I quit.”
So I stepped away. Not from life, but from the endless loop. Serving only a few clients.
I touched the soil in my garden more often, rather than sticking to a schedule.
I allowed the wind to move through me.
I walked without purpose.
I listened to the song of the birds instead of the constant ping of a device.
I started writing again. Not a social post, but something out of my spirit.
I remembered that the world is not waiting for my next post, so I posted less and went offline for stretches at a time.
Then This Happened…
One day while scrolling, I thought of a business friend I admired. She’d vanished off the internet.
No updates in her group.
No posts.
So I reached out.
She told me she was fine, just stepping back to recharge and re-align for something bigger. That conversation was the nudge I needed. Maybe even the permission I didn’t know I was waiting for.
A Milestone and a New Chapter
Not long after, I looked at my calendar and saw my birthday month circled.
That was it! This must be a sign, I chuckled.
This wasn’t the end. This was an evolution. My new chapter after my milestone year.
The Spark Returns
I broke free of the shackle I’d built.
I said yes to a chapter where my spark is back, my heart flutters, and my work feels alive again.
The Lesson That Stays With Me
Here’s what I know:
It’s okay to quit.
Because we’re not quitting on our dreams, we’re just quitting the path that’s draining us, and choosing one that lets both business and soul breathe.
That’s where the real wealth is.
It’s in knowing when to stop.
When to rest.
When to live.
When to exit.
Because the season of chasing never ends… unless you end it.
What do you think? Am I crazy?
I’d love to hear your insight!
The Secret to Easy, Fast, and Cost-Effective Business Growth
Ignite the flame!
The money is in your old-loyal customers….
In the relentless pursuit of new customers, we often forget the untapped goldmine of our existing customer base. We get so caught up in chasing fresh leads that we forget the ones who have already sold on us—the loyal customers who just need a gentle nudge, reminder, or a little extra value to keep us on their radar.
It’s time to hardest the power of your old customer base because:
CUSTOMER LOYALTY IS THE CROWN JEWEL OF ANY BUSINESS
The real power of customer royalty can be yours…
These are the people who have already invested in you and put their faith in your brand, opening their wallets to you. Loyal customerss tend to spend more, stick around longer, and become your most passionate advocates if you take care of them.
Building and nurturing your loyal customer base takes time and effort but rewards are easier to achieve. Think of it as your “low hanging fruit”.
My question is: do you have a nurturing system going?
NEW CUSTOMER ACQUISITION IS COSTLY IN EFFORT AND MONEY
Chasing new customers can feel like running a never-ending marathon. It requires marketing campaigns, relentless lead generation, and a big budget. Not to mention ensuring you are talking to the right people—your target audience. And crafting the right message and to ensure it lands right. It’s like climbing mount everst without oxygen.
And sometimes, your effort don’t materialize, because marketing campaign is no guarantee. The conversion and onboarding process can be a slow and grueling journey.
STRATEGIES TO SET YOUR CUSTOMER’S HEARTS:
1. Remember them
Existing customers carry certain value base on their previous purchase. This should be part of your customer retention strategy. Tap into their potential for more upselling and cross-sellilng value.
2. Personalization
Ditch the generic, one-size-fits-all communication. Personalize it and make your message sparks. Offer exclusive perks, and loyalty programs to make them feel seen, heard and appreciated.
3. Remarket and retarget
Remind them of your brand and who you are. Show up again in front of them through retargeting ads or simply following up and saying hello.
Now it’s your turn. Do you have tips in making customers buy from you over and over?
Don’t Overcome Objections—Eliminate Them
.”H Objections suck!
Yes, it does. But what can you do about it?
A lot!
Objections can be painful.
It hurts our guts and ego.
Our subconscious mind reacts negatively and thinks we suck when we get objections or get rejected.
But the truth is: objection is often an unconscious response and it can be ridiculously fun to handle; if you understand what’s behind these objections.
You see, if you are selling, you are going to come across objections, no matter what you are selling, and no matter how good you are. It’s human nature that people would object. It’s almost an unconscious behaviour–stimulus-response without thought.
An impulse!
So trust me, it’s not something even sales Goddesses can avoid.
So if you are in sales, and you feel bad whenever an objection is thrown your way, buckle up and let’s get this thing figured out.
Because I can promise you that when you are grounded and trained in the sales process–objections are fun to handle. You might even be so smooth that you don’t get any objections at all.
WHAT’S BEHIND THESE OBJECTIONS
Clarity
People are not clear about what you are talking about. They don’t want to ask more questions because they don’t want to come across as an idiot; so they just politely say “NO THANKS!” To avoid this, your pitch should be clear and must include an element of value. If you are wondering how to do this, this course will end your suffering.
Fear of Change
Clients object because they are afraid of the unknown. They are comfortable with what they’ve got so far and they feel change is unnecessary. This can be handled by doing the earlier steps in the sales process which is to uncover and identify any gaps in their current situation. You gotta be a pro at this! And be able to paint the picture and uncover the gap so you can say “what happens if this continues?” “How will this affect your lifestyle?” “If nothing changes, what could happen to your relationships…etc.”
Lack of Trust
They don’t trust you or don’t think your offer solves their problem. They don’t see the value of your offer. This can easily be remedied by establishing strong rapport at the beginning–before pitching.
Perceived Risk
The potential client may perceive a high level of risk associated with the purchase. It’s not just financial risk. It may also include the risk of failure.
Overwhelmed
They may feel overwhelmed with choices and experience difficulty in processing an overload of information which leads to objection and hesitation in making a purchasing decision.
Introverts are susceptible to this. They need time to process the information. So give them time. Because, if they feel they are not given enough time or are being rushed into making decisions, their protective mechanism kicks in and they’ll say NO.
HANDLING OBJECTIONS
Now What?
Knowing what’s behind the objections allow you to understand where the prospect is coming from, and can handle the objections with grace and empathy.
Let’s tackle the most common objections.
Price
“I don’t have money.”
“It’s expensive.”
“I can’t afford it right now.”
The price objection can be tough to handle. But here’s a little secret, it’s not always the price. If it’s the price, it could just be that the prospect is voicing out a complaint. Truth is, it may be true that your product or service is expensive. So acknowledge that and agree with them. But would the price prevents them from buying? Most likely, they already know your product or offer is expensive but they are talking to you. They know you are not working for charity either. I’ve list the exact script to these objections as part of my training program so make sure to download it. Know this: sometimes, the prospect just don’t see the value in what you’re offering.
Timing
“It’s not the right time.”
“Let me think about it.”
“It looks good, but not sure if it’s what I need right now.”
Sounds familiar? All these objections sounds different but the bottom line is, they are trying to say they are not ready. Maybe they aren’t and there’s no point in pushing. But often times they are afraid to commit. So don’t ride them off yet, instead dig deeper and explore their fear. What haven’t they told you? What’s their real concern?
Knowledge is power. The more you know about your potential client or customer and their concerns, the better you’ll be at handling it. Because when you do the sales process correctly–which includes knowing as much as you can about the person’s concerns and making a value-based offer, the natural result is a yes!
What sales objections do you hear the most and want tips on handling them?
Six Reasons Why Selling Makes You Smarter and Emotionally Intelligent
Here are 6 reasons why selling makes you smarter and emotionally intelligent:
The Bad And The Ugly Of Selling Online
There are creeps online
Well… maybe not creeps but certainly people who do things that are creepy! For instance, you probably experienced one or both of these:
- you receive a creepy message from a stranger that says: “hey, how are you doing?”
- you get a friend request, you accept it, and immediately get a pitch from this person
It turns you off.
You feel awkward and uncertain about what to do with it. You start to feel weird.
Don’t worry, it’s not you.
When someone sends us an impersonal, out-of-the-blue message that does not vibe well with us, we get taken aback and we do several things:
- bark at the sender
- ignore it
- report it as spam
- block them out of our circle
Why?
Because we are human.
We deserve to have our existence acknowledged and our work noticed. In other words, be charmed and treated with respect.
So if you just come right out of the park and swing your selfish (one-sided) pitch at me, my most gracious response would be to ignore you. Sometimes, when you catch me in one of my “I need a coffee moment”, I’d bark at you. Ask my close circle of friends and they’d tell you that I’ve barked at them when they did that. “WTF are you doing? Why are you treating me this way?”, are some of what you’d hear from me because I know you could do better. And if you’ve been around me, you’d hear me say this over and over again: be human & pitch as if you know them.
Oh and by the way, if you are a friend and you know me well. Don’t go all weird on me and pretend you are not selling something to me. Come right out and tell me like a good friend.
Here are some weird, awkward examples of messages I received in the last few weeks.
1. “We are looking for empowering women like you, who want to share their stories of how they … in life, health, and in Business. Check out our group of amazing women which you definitely wish to be part of. Here’s the link which is free.”
2. “Hi, I hope all is well. Can I send you a link to my website to see if any of the products interest you? I know you’ll love them!”
3. “Hi Imie, I hope you are doing great. If you are in business and looking for a VA, I am your gal. I am available for a call to see if we are a fit. Here’s my calendar link….”
4. “Hi Imie, thanks for connecting. What do you do? I’d love to connect to see if what I offer might help you.” Hmmm… we are already connected. And my business is clearly visible on my profile.
What is wrong with these messages?
Two main faux pas in this approach
1. Self-centric. All the example messages above are self-centric. They are in it for themselves. They want something and there’s nothing in the message to suggest that there is something for me as well. If you are reading this, and think there is something for me in that message–think again.
2. Pitching blind. None of them have done any research before they messaged me, which to me, equates to not really caring who I am. They just want to know if I’ll be interested. Which I might be if approached correctly.
Convince me that there’s something for me, and you’ll get my attention.
But first, make an effort to know a bit about me so you can approach me in a way that will align with what I am doing or want to do.
You want me to HEAR you. Pay attention to YOU.
And for me to do that, you must grab my attention and interest. Not a generic, thoughtless, cut-and-paste message that is irrelevant to me. Check what I DO. What I LIKE. And try to personalize your message so it lands well in my space and grabs my attention. Remember AIDA?
You might say: isn’t that all about you?
Well, it is indeed! It’s all about me. After all, you are the one initiating the conversation. You want something from the prospect and so it is about me the prospect– that is if you want their attention.
Get in front of me
Get on my radar. If you’ve never liked, commented, or made any effort to interact with me in the open space of social media (profile, pages, groups), then you haven’t earned the right to pitch me.
If you haven’t made any effort to get an idea of what I might like, then I have no inclination to spare my precious time for you. It’s nothing personal, we’re both busy people. This is how most people see online business, selling, and marketing.
You see, the internet is FREE, and it allows us to market to the whole wide world. Just don’t make verbal vomit all over the place. It doesn’t work.
This may sound harsh to those with faint hearts. But there are unspoken rules and etiquette in business, marketing, and sales.
Networking Faux Pas
I see these mistakes in networking as well. People want to talk to as many people as they can and unload everything they can in such a short time and end up not making any real connection.
For instance, if you monopolize the conversation to try to impress everyone, you’ll likely not get invited again and people will avoid you.
It’s the nature of things.
I see this happen all the time.
The bottom line is this, there are business etiquettes and social etiquettes that grease our interaction and make it possible for us to interact, connect, and build deeper relationships efficiently and positively with less friction.
The Good News
That’s a lot to unload to you. But don’t despair. It’s not all bad 🙂
Something can be done about it if you are willing to show up your best, and improve your closing average. It starts with being aware of what you are doing that is not kosher or heart-centred. And taking full ownership and committing to change it in order to serve your audience best.
Start with these:
1. Always do your homework and know your potential prospect. Minimally, you’d want to know about their business, their likes, and dislikes. It will help you get an idea of what they might be open to. These are readily available in their profile. It also shows them that you made an effort to get to know them. If they don’t have this information on their profile, then it’s all right to message them to get more information. Like and comment on their post, so they see you are in their space. That’s your ticket to their front door.
Then when you message them with something like:
“hey, I was fascinated by your post in the group we both belong to. I am curious to know what you do. I don’t see it on your profile.”
Asking tactical questions to gather your sales intelligence will help you identify what they might like, and can then properly position yourself. Asking someone to check your website to see what they might like is like asking them to do some work for you and not giving them any compelling reason to do it.
2. Personalized your pitch with added value. Make it two-sided. Not just what’s good for you, but what’s in it for them?
Why should they check out your offer?
How will they benefit from your offer?
In lesson 6 of my Sales Masterclass, I teach the specific wording of a pitch that is full of value which you can personalize to suit your specific product or service.
You see, selling is simple if you know the steps to easily grease the conversation, and naturally, move them over to your side without compromising your personal integrity.
The NO. 1 Sales Killer
There are numerous ways to kill a deal.
But let’s focus on the most important deal breakers of all. In addition to not listening, talking too much is the no.1 deal killer. Not just in sales conversations, it’s also a deal breaker in networking and in other business settings. I bet you can remember a time or conversation where you can’t wait to run away from the talker!
Can this be improved? Absolutely!
If your sales and business growth are not where they should be, it may be time to put some effort into your business communication etiquette.
You hear that right!
Talking too much or god forbid, talking too loud is a major faux pas. It’s up there with swearing like a drunken sailor. At least, that’s how it is perceived by most people. It’s disrespectful.
TO CHANGE SOMETHING, ONE MUST FIRST UNDERSTAND WHAT’S BEHIND THIS BEHAVIOR.
When people talk too much, they are either:
- A narcissist who thinks they are important and entertaining, unaware of others’ importance.
- Shy people who lack self-esteem and try to babble out their nerves talking. They want to prove they are worthy.
Nervousness and lack of self-esteem trigger anxiety and can cause people to talk too much to compensate. We FAIL to listen when we spend a big part of the conversation talking.
I used to do this when I was starting out. I was nervous and felt I had to talk and impress people.
Then I met someone that made a big impact on me.
He was charming.
People were drawn to him. Whenever he spoke, people would surround him and they would listen attentively. He wasn’t annoyingly boastful.
He seldom spoke about himself. He simply granted everyone the opportunity to speak and he listened.
He also did his best to compliment people around him.
That’s when I become aware of my bad habit and decided that he was going to be my model. I wanted to be him when I grow up!
Ever since then, I made an effort to get better.
When I got better at my craft and raised my confidence level, I didn’t feel “I had” to fill in the conversation. I was able to relax and enjoy the conversation without feeling like I have to make a good impression with my talkative self. I was able to silence that persona in my head.
This was a major shift in my life and business.
Now I let the silence linger–and it’s okay. No anxiety there. I can let others dominate the conversation while I listen. This allowed me to pick up the cues, and really know the person I am speaking with or the people around me. I got to know more about people.
Recently, someone had mentioned to someone else (who later informed me of it), that she thought I was charming and very intelligent. This surprised me because I hardly spoke at that event. I was actually enjoying everyone’s chatter. How could anyone say that I was intelligent when I hardly said anything?
That, my dear, is the power of silence!
How to silence the beast in your head and raise your soft power.
That’s right.
Listening is more powerful than being a chatterbox.
Change your approach, change your life
- Get better at your craft and at what you do. You’ll raise that confidence at the highest level, and gather the right energy to project the right posture. You’ll feel like you’ve “arrived” and you don’t need to impress, convince anyone or make apologies. You are you and you are awesome the way you are. No need to prove anything to anyone. When you reach this point, you’ll know it, because, at this level, you no longer have the urge to tell people that you are good at something, or that you have this and that, or you know so and so, and that you can do this and that. You’ll just casually mention it at the right moment.
This quote says it all for me by former UK Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher:
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”
- Raise your awareness and presence. Because when you DO, you’ll be able to respect the settings and will not dare speak too loud or too much. You will be fully aware of who’s who, what they do, and how you can help them just by listening. And when it’s time to pitch, you’ll be able to use what you’ve learned in your messaging so it lands beautifully well in their ears. And because you listened, they’ll respect you when you speak.
It’s understandable that salespeople have a lot to say. We try to unload a lot of things all at once to cover all the bases.
This is a mistake.
No one wishes to experience information overload. Verbal vomit is a problem. Don’t be a problem. You don’t want to be remembered as “that person who talked too much”.
How To Get Them On Your Side
They don’t want to be “convinced” or “manipulated.”
So if you are trying to get a prospect to listen to you, agree with you, and be on your side, you will make a dog’s breakfast out of the sales conversation. You’ll alienate and tune them out. They’ll appear to be listening and somewhat interested. They might even say they agree with you, but they will not say YES to your offer. Because this kind of agreement is a false agreement. What they really want you to do is to shut up. So they will agree with you to end the conversation and move on.
Don’t explain. Don’t make an argument or try to explain your position. Don’t try to talk someone into something. Because this position projects the idea that you are right and they are wrong.
It doesn’t work.
And if you find yourself explaining, know that you’ve already lost the sale, and it’s time to recalibrate and change your approach or backtrack.
What works best?
If you want to get anyone on your side for anything, you need to:
- Disarm them. And to do that, you need to give them the idea that you will not force them into doing anything without their agreement. But don’t say, “I am not selling you anything.” This will be insincere because you will sell them something. Rather, be present and listen. Starts the conversation right and build rapport. Invest your time learning more about their issues and understanding what drives them. What motivates them, and what do they want in life? You need to gather enough information. This is your sales intelligence. And use the sales process to guide them into wanting to “change.”
- Demonstrate empathy. Be on their side. Not just telling them that you “understand” them or that you get it, but demonstrate in your communication that you “get them.” It’s a precise skill, and I teach that in my Heartcore Masterclass. You want them to feel that energy. Make them FEEL heard.
- Show them nirvana. Show them the possibility of getting them out of their pain and suffering. Show them there is a solution. But… not just pitch, but provide a good reason why they should, highlighting the value of your offer. This is an important pitch, and I share the exact wording in the masterclass, and all you have to do is fill in the blanks.
The three steps above are done in sequence. These steps are broken down into simple steps in the sales process, and once you understand the sequence, the steps, what exact questions to ask, and how to respond correctly, you will naturally get anyone on your side, whether they are ready to buy or not. They’ll be impressed with you and glad they’ve chatted with you.
A magical moment, Omen, Or Myth?
It was a dreary England morning when I walked out of my Airbnb to go to the nearest town for groceries.
I decided to walk instead of calling an Uber. I figured I’d wander around in town and enjoy the scenery. It is, after all, England, where everything seems to grow mystically well.
Heading down east Grinstead, I met an old lady that came out from one of the cottages (they call their homes cottages–I was staying at the wilderness cottage). We started chatting and I told her that the area is such a wonderful place despite the gloomy weather; I even saw a herd of deers roaming the ravines.
“Oh yeah, they are plenty around. But did you see the white one?”
White deer? No, I’ve never seen one.” I said to her.
“Well, if you get lucky you might see one. It only shows up for certain people.”
We said goodbye and she went back to tending her garden.
When I got back to our Airbnb, I asked the host about the white deer and she said she has never seen one and she’s been in this property for over 5 years. Interesting I thought.
The next morning, I made myself a coffee and as I opened the sliding door to look at the ravine down below, I saw her…standing a few feet from the door.
She looked right at me!
Speechless and shocked but I quickly acknowledged her grace, she nodded, and then made a swift about-face and galloped down the hill to the herd, where they were grazing.
I put down my coffee and grabbed my phone to take this picture.
I told everyone about it, but they didn’t believe me. Luckily I have a picture of this moment, albeit grainy because of the distance.
She looked magnificent. With her long and graceful neck, she grazed with rhythm, certainty and providence. Yes, providence–she is a goddess and acted like one.
I had forgotten about it, but my conversation today with someone reminded me of this moment. She shared with me the significance of a white deer.
So after our conversation, I googled the subject and here are some bits of what I found:
“Usually, white animals were seen during soul-quests or vision-quests…. When white occurs in the animal realm, it is a message of:
- higher thoughts
- higher ideals
- purity of soul
- cleansing of spirit
- attaining higher knowledge ”
“King Arthur’s repeatedly unsuccessful pursuit of the white stag represents mankind’s quest for spiritual knowledge….”
A coincidence or a prophecy?
I didn’t go to England on vacation. I went there for some spiritual enlightenment. And whether my purpose, transformation and spiritual quest have anything to do with this encounter…it’s anyone’s guess.
All I know is that I’ve never been the same.
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